I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
