but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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