hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
