i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
