Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
