just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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