Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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