Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
