dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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