he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
