don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
