there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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