I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
