so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
