It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
did i just pee glitter
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