I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I have feelings that need drinking.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
