Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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