Sry I called you an 8
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
