Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
