Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
