I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
