I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
