We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
