sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
