i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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