The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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