what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
