You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
