"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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