Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
