Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
