So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
COCAINE IS GR8
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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