Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You were trust falling into bushes
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
