note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
do herpes really smell.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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