She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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