watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Bring me that man meat
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
