i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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