Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
