is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
