did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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