come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
