he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
