Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
