I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
