Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
