Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
