haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Tell her she can't have a vagina
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
