i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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