i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
