i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
