you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
